Nvidia earnings hit Wednesday, Conference Finals are underway, Google I/O kicks off tomorrow, and Chaos Rising lands Friday.
Wall Street, sports Twitter, and the internet all decided to schedule their meltdowns for the same week.
We filtered the chaos into two minutes.
📈 Finance
• Qualcomm went full turbo mode last week, ripping 42% to an ATH of $247.90, clear winner of the week
• SMCI face-planted 12.2%, while the Nasdaq finally remembered red candles exist after a 7-week heater
• CPI came in hotter than expected, rate hike odds jumped to 45%, and the 10-year yield climbed to 4.6%, the highest in a year
• Nvidia reports Wednesday with $79.2B revenue expected; options market pricing in a spicy 7.5% move either way
• Our calls this week: AMAT looks primed to run, BABA feels like it forgot its map again
• NextEra and Dominion announced a monster $66.8B merger, creating the biggest utility giant in U.S. history
• Oil ripped back above $110 after the IEA warned inventories are running dangerously thin, summer gas prices about to enter villain mode
🏀 Sports
• Cavs obliterated Detroit 125-94 in Game 7, now heading into an ECF showdown with the Knicks Tuesday
• Spurs closed out Minnesota in Game 6 behind Stephon Castle’s monster 32-point, 11-board performance
• Thunder vs Spurs tipped off last night, OKC enters 8-0 this postseason and SGA just secured back-to-back MVPs
• Wemby vs OKC might be the smartest basketball series we’ve seen since LeBron was solving defenses like Sudoku
• Scottie Scheffler leads the PGA Championship at Aronimink, while Rory’s still lurking but needs a heater
• Napoleon Solo captured the Preakness, officially reopening Triple Crown discourse season
• Ronda Rousey stopped Gina Carano in 17 seconds on Netflix Saturday, humanity collectively paused to watch chaos
• NFL schedule dropped: Giants host Cowboys on SNF Week 1, Chiefs vs Broncos opens Monday Night Football
💻 Tech
• Google I/O starts tomorrow with full reveals for Googlebook, Gemini Intelligence, and Android 17
• Gemini Intelligence is confirmed, but rollout is limited to flagship Android devices first, classic “available soon™” energy
• iOS 26.5 shipped encrypted RCS messaging between iPhone and Android users, meaning green bubbles finally got diplomatic immunity
• Windows 11 is testing a resizable Start menu and adjustable taskbar, the K2 initiative might actually be cooking
• Sony launched the Xperia 1 VIII with elite camera hardware, then immediately had to explain why the AI camera avoids photographing people. Tough launch sequence.
• Nintendo dropped a fresh Yoshi and the Mysterious Book trailer for Switch 2 and nostalgia stocks are booming
• Amazon is ending support for older Kindles, and users immediately responded by jailbreaking them like it’s Mr. Robot
🃏 TCG
• Chaos Rising hits retail Friday: ETBs at $59.99 MSRP, display boxes at $161.64
• Pokémon Center exclusive ETBs already sold out and flipping above $200 online because scarcity remains undefeated
• Early prerelease pull rates have Greninja SIR landing around 1 in 78-92 packs, tighter odds than Ascended Heroes
• TCG Live access opens Wednesday, one day before physical launch, because digital cardboard waits for nobody
• Mega Lucario ex League Battle Deck drops alongside launch and includes Secret Box plus Fezandipiti ex
• Pokémon confirmed reprints for Destined Rivals and Prismatic Evolutions, over 1M units heading to big-box stores this summer
• If you planned to flip sealed product in the next 3-6 months, congratulations: your exit window just got speed-ran
• Second wave of Chaos Rising expected late June, likely the best singles-buying window if launch prices go orbital
Stay sharp. Signal over noise.
— The Bandicoots 🔥