We filtered the chaos into two minutes.
📈 Finance
• Qualcomm went full turbo mode last week, ripping 42% to an ATH of $247.90, clear winner of the week
• SMCI face-planted 12.2%, while the Nasdaq finally remembered red candles exist after a 7-week heater
• CPI came in hotter than expected, rate hike odds jumped to 45%, and the 10-year yield climbed to 4.6%, the highest in a year
• Nvidia reports Wednesday with $79.2B revenue expected; options market pricing in a spicy 7.5% move either way
• Our calls this week: AMAT looks primed to run, BABA feels like it forgot its map again
• NextEra and Dominion announced a monster $66.8B merger, creating the biggest utility giant in U.S. history
• Oil ripped back above $110 after the IEA warned inventories are running dangerously thin, summer gas prices about to enter villain mode
🏀 Sports
• Cavs obliterated Detroit 125-94 in Game 7, now heading into an ECF showdown with the Knicks Tuesday
• Spurs closed out Minnesota in Game 6 behind Stephon Castle’s monster 32-point, 11-board performance
• Thunder vs Spurs tipped off last night, OKC enters 8-0 this postseason and SGA just secured back-to-back MVPs
• Wemby vs OKC might be the smartest basketball series we’ve seen since LeBron was solving defenses like Sudoku
• Scottie Scheffler leads the PGA Championship at Aronimink, while Rory’s still lurking but needs a heater
• Napoleon Solo captured the Preakness, officially reopening Triple Crown discourse season
• Ronda Rousey stopped Gina Carano in 17 seconds on Netflix Saturday, humanity collectively paused to watch chaos
• NFL schedule dropped: Giants host Cowboys on SNF Week 1, Chiefs vs Broncos opens Monday Night Football
💻 Tech
• Google I/O starts tomorrow with full reveals for Googlebook, Gemini Intelligence, and Android 17
• Gemini Intelligence is confirmed, but rollout is limited to flagship Android devices first, classic “available soon™” energy
• iOS 26.5 shipped encrypted RCS messaging between iPhone and Android users, meaning green bubbles finally got diplomatic immunity
• Windows 11 is testing a resizable Start menu and adjustable taskbar, the K2 initiative might actually be cooking
• Sony launched the Xperia 1 VIII with elite camera hardware, then immediately had to explain why the AI camera avoids photographing people. Tough launch sequence.
• Nintendo dropped a fresh Yoshi and the Mysterious Book trailer for Switch 2 and nostalgia stocks are booming
• Amazon is ending support for older Kindles, and users immediately responded by jailbreaking them like it’s Mr. Robot
🃏 TCG
• Chaos Rising hits retail Friday: ETBs at $59.99 MSRP, display boxes at $161.64
• Pokémon Center exclusive ETBs already sold out and flipping above $200 online because scarcity remains undefeated
• Early prerelease pull rates have Greninja SIR landing around 1 in 78-92 packs, tighter odds than Ascended Heroes
• TCG Live access opens Wednesday, one day before physical launch, because digital cardboard waits for nobody
• Mega Lucario ex League Battle Deck drops alongside launch and includes Secret Box plus Fezandipiti ex
• Pokémon confirmed reprints for Destined Rivals and Prismatic Evolutions, over 1M units heading to big-box stores this summer
• If you planned to flip sealed product in the next 3-6 months, congratulations: your exit window just got speed-ran
• Second wave of Chaos Rising expected late June, likely the best singles-buying window if launch prices go orbital
Stay sharp. Signal over noise.
— The Bandicoots 🔥