SpaceX Makes History, Oracle Gets Punished, Adobe Gets Ghosted, and the Fed Takes Center Stage
The largest IPO in U.S. history surged 19%, two earnings beats got sold anyway, and Wall Street now turns its attention to Kevin Warsh’s first Fed meeting.
Welcome to Staten News — where earnings beats don’t always mean stock gains, IPOs can mint trillionaires before lunch, and the Federal Reserve still has the power to ruin everyone’s week.
Last week felt like three months compressed into three trading days.
SpaceX delivered the biggest IPO in U.S. history.
Oracle reported one of the strongest quarters in company history.
Adobe beat estimates and raised guidance.
Two of those stocks got hammered. One became a $2.1 trillion company.
Welcome to 2026.
🚀💥 Biggest Gainer: SpaceX (+19%)
Friday belonged to SpaceX.
The company priced its historic IPO at $135 per share, raised $75 billion, and officially became the largest public offering ever recorded.
Not Saudi Aramco.
Not Alibaba.
Not Meta.
SpaceX.
Trading was delayed 30 minutes due to overwhelming institutional demand, which is Wall Street’s version of the club being too crowded to open the doors.
When trading finally began:
Open: $150
Intraday High: $176.52
Close: $160.95
Day-One Gain: +19%
The result?
A market capitalization of roughly $2.1 trillion, instantly making SpaceX one of the largest companies in America.
Meanwhile, Elon Musk crossed another absurd milestone as his net worth briefly exceeded $1 trillion during Friday’s session.
That’s not a typo.
Retail investors lucky enough to secure IPO allocations through Robinhood, Fidelity, or Schwab got a first-day return most investors wait years to see.
The stock didn’t just debut.
It launched.
Pun intended.
😬 Biggest Loser: Oracle (-10%)
Now for the part of the market that makes absolutely no sense until it suddenly does.
Oracle reported what looked like a monster quarter.
📊 The Good Stuff
Revenue: $19.18B vs. $19.09B expected
EPS: $2.11 vs. $1.96 expected
OCI Revenue Growth: +93% YoY
Remaining Performance Obligation: $638B
Largest quarterly backlog increase in company history
By most standards, that’s a mic-drop earnings report.
Instead, shares fell roughly 10%.
Why?
Because investors stopped reading the top half of the earnings release and started reading the bottom half.
💸 The Problem
Oracle’s AI infrastructure ambitions are becoming incredibly expensive.
Management disclosed:
FY2026 CapEx: $55.7B (+162%)
Free Cash Flow: -$23.7B
Additional Capital Raise Planned: $40B
FY2027 Planned CapEx: $70B
Bulls see a company racing to satisfy overwhelming AI demand.
Bears see a company borrowing faster than revenue is materializing.
Both sides may be right.
Wall Street chose the bear case last week.
For now.
🎨😬 Adobe Beats... Again. And Falls... Again.
Adobe delivered what analysts typically call a “beat-and-raise.”
The market called it a sell.
📊 The Numbers
Revenue: $6.62B
EPS: $5.96
Full-Year Guidance: Raised
Normally that’s enough to spark a rally.
Instead, Adobe dropped more than 6% and hit a fresh 52-week low.
Why Investors Hit Sell
Two issues overshadowed the quarter:
1️⃣ Leadership Uncertainty
CFO Dan Durn is leaving for Marvell Technology.
That follows CEO Shantanu Narayen’s announcement earlier this year that he’ll step down after nearly two decades leading the company.
Two executive transitions in three months?
Institutional investors hate uncertainty almost as much as they hate missing guidance.
2️⃣ The AI Monetization Question
Adobe continues prioritizing user growth over immediate monetization.
Translation:
They’re keeping products affordable and delaying price increases while competitors aggressively monetize AI features.
Long term? Smart.
Short term? Investors want proof.
The result is a stock trading at valuation levels that would’ve seemed impossible two years ago.
Either Wall Street is dramatically underestimating Adobe...
or Adobe is dramatically overestimating its strategy.
We’ll get another clue when Q3 arrives in September.
🏛️ This Week’s Main Event: The Fed
Forget earnings.
Forget IPOs.
Everything this week revolves around one building in Washington.
The FOMC meeting concludes Tuesday at 2 PM ET, marking Kevin Warsh’s first major policy decision as the 17th Chair of the Federal Reserve.
Current market expectations:
65% probability of a hold
Target range remains 3.50%–3.75%
The real story won’t be the rate decision.
It’ll be the tone.
Warsh is widely expected to move the Fed away from the easing bias that defined the later Powell years and toward a more neutral stance.
Translation:
The market may care more about what gets said than what gets done.
Watch the updated dot plot carefully.
Any upward revisions to projected 2027 or 2028 rates could trigger a hawkish reaction regardless of Tuesday’s actual decision.
🔮 This Week’s Predictions
📈 Predicted Gainer: Nvidia (NVDA)
Nvidia fell nearly 6% last week despite no company-specific negative news.
Meanwhile:
SpaceX IPO demand exploded
Oracle reported 93% OCI growth
Broadcom posted another massive AI quarter
Every one of those stories points toward the same theme:
AI infrastructure demand remains incredibly strong.
If the Fed delivers a calm hold and a stable dot plot, Nvidia could quickly recover last week’s decline.
📉 Predicted Loser: Tesla (TSLA)
Tesla enters the week facing pressure from an unexpected source:
SpaceX.
Last week, Cathie Wood’s ARK reportedly sold roughly $443 million of Tesla shares while building a substantial SpaceX position.
That’s not profit-taking.
That’s capital rotation.
And unlike a one-day trade, that rotation could continue for weeks as institutional investors decide where they want their Musk exposure.
Fed-week volatility only adds another reason for large funds to reduce risk.
📊 Final Thoughts
Last week was a perfect reminder that markets don’t reward good news.
They reward expectations.
SpaceX exceeded them.
Oracle scared investors despite beating them.
Adobe raised guidance and still got punished.
Now Wall Street turns its attention to the Fed, where one sentence from Kevin Warsh could matter more than every earnings report we’ve discussed.
Keep your watchlist fresh.
Keep your caffeine stocked.
And remember: sometimes the biggest move comes from the stock that did absolutely nothing wrong.
This is not financial advice. Always do your own research.
— The Bandicoots 📉📈